Tiare's profile傍湖而居PhotosBlogListsMore Tools Help

我看见

Tiare

There are no music lists on this space.

Feed

The owner hasn't specified a feed for this module yet.

傍湖而居

白眉女子
There are no photo albums.

just in case

 

Introducing Sociology
A Review of Eyes Wide Shut

by Tim Kreider


©2000 by the Regents of the University of California. Reprinted from "Film Quarterly" Vol. 53, no. 3, by permission of the University of California Press.



"So... do you... do you suppose we should... talk about money?"

-Dr. William ("Bill") Harford


Critical disappointment with Eyes Wide Shut was almost unanimous, and the complaint was always the same: not sexy. The national reviewers sounded like a bunch of middle-school kids who'd snuck in to see it and slunk out three hours later feeling horny, frustrated, and ripped off. Kubrick was old and out of touch with today's jaded sensibilities, they said. The film's sexual mores and taboos, transplanted straight out of Arthur Schnitzler's fin-de-siecle Vienna--jealousy over dreams and fantasies, guilt-ridden visits to prostitutes, a strained discussion of an HIV test that echoes the old social terror of syphilis--seemed quaint and naive by the standards of the sordid year 1999. One last time Stanley Kubrick had flouted genre expectations, and once again, as throughout his career, critics could only see what wasn't there.

The backlash against the film is now generally blamed on its cynical, miscalculated ad campaign. But why anyone who'd seen Kubrick's previous films believed the hype and actually expected it to be what Entertainment Weekly breathlessly anticipated as "the sexiest movie ever," is still not clear. The most erotic scenes he ever filmed were the bomber refueling in Dr. Strangelove and the spaceliner docking in 2001. He mocks any prurient suspense in the very fist shot of this movie; without prelude, Nicole Kidman, her back to the camera, shrugs off her dress and kicks it aside, standing matter-of-factly bare-assed before us for a moment before the screen goes black like a peepshow door sliding shut. (You can almost hear the director's Bronx-accented voice: "You came to see a big-time movie star get naked? Here ya go. All right, show's over. Can we get serious now?) The main title then appears like a rebuke, telling us that we're not really seeing what we're staring at. In other words, Eyes Wide Shut is not going to be about sex.

The real pornography in this film is in its lingering depiction of the shameless, naked wealth of millennial Manhattan, and of its obscene effect on society and the human soul. National reviewers' myopic focus on sex, and the shallow psychologies of the film's central couple, the Harfords, at the expense of every other element of the film-the trappings of stupendous wealth, its references to fin-de-siecle Europe and other imperial periods, its Christmastime setting, even the sum Dr. Harford spends on a single night out-says more about the blindness of the elites to their own surroundings than it does about Kubrick's inadequacies as a pornographer. For those with their eyes open, there are plenty of money shots.

There is a moment in Eyes Wide Shut, as Bill Harford is lying to his wife over a cellphone from a prostitute's apartment, when we see a textbook in the foreground titled Introducing Sociology. The book's title is a dry caption to the action onscreen (like the slogan PEACE IS OUR PROFESSION looming over the battle at Burpelson Air Force Base in Dr. Strangelove), telling us that prostitution is the basic, defining transaction of our society. It is also, more importantly, a key to understanding the film, suggesting that we ought to interpret it sociologically--not as most reviewers insisted on doing, psychologically.

Michiko Kakutani of the New York Times tells us that Kubrick "never paid much attention to the psychology of characters, much less relationships between men and women," and in fact "spent his career ignoring (or avoiding) the inner lives of people, their private dreams and frustrations." [1] Unable to imagine what other subjects there could be, she, like so many critics before her, shrugs him off as obsessed with mere technique. She is, first of all, wrong; Kubrick examines his characters' inner lives through imagery, not dialogue; as he said, "scenes of people talking about themselves are often very dull." [2] (It could be argued that almost all of this film takes place inside Bill Harford's head.) Secondly, and more importantly, she misses the point: Kubrick's films are never only about individuals (sometimes, as in the case of 2001, they hardly contain any); they are always about Man, about civilization and history. Even The Shining is not just about a family, as Bill Blakemore showed in his article "The Family of Man," but about the massacre of the American Indians and the recurrent murderousness of Western civilization. [3]

Reviewers complained that the Harfords were ciphers, uncomplicated and dull; these reactions recall the befuddlement of critics who complained that the computer in 2001 was more human than the astronauts, but could only attribute it (just four years after the unforgettable performances of Dr. Strangelove) to human error. The Harfords may seem as naive and sheltered as the Victorians in, say, Galsworthy's Forsyte Saga, but to wish that the characters had been more complex or self-aware misses the point. To understand a film by this most thoughtful and painstaking of filmmakers, we should assume that this characterization is deliberate--that their shallowness and repression is the point. Think of Bill in the back of the cab, his face a sullen mask as he tortures himself by running the same black-and-white stag film of Alice's imagined infidelity over and over in his head. (Anyone who doubts that it is the character, rather than the actor, who lacks depth and expressiveness should watch Cruise in Magnolia.) Or of Alice giggling in her sleep, clearly relishing her dream about betraying and humiliating her husband, only to wake up in tears, saying that she had "a horrible dream"; her repression is complete and instantaneous. (She's like Jack Torrance in The Shining waking up shouting from "the most terrible nightmare I ever had," about chopping up his family, about twelve hours before he actually tries to do it.) The itensely staged vacuity of the Harford's inner lives should tell us to look elsewhere for the film's real focus.

One place to look is not at them but around them, at the places where they live and the things they own. Most of the film's sets, even the New York street scenes, were constructed on sound stages and backlots, just like the Overlook Hotel, which was as central to The Shining as its actors. Precision of visual detail is as integral to the meaning of Eyes Wide Shut as is the use of gorgeous faces famous from the covers of glossy check-out-aisle magazines to play a conspicuously attractive high-society couple (not unlike his choice of handsome, bland-faced Ryan O'Neill to play eighteenth-century social climber Redmond Barry.) Even the street sets (criticized by the uniquely provincial New York press as "inaccurate") are expressionistic, with newspaper headlines (LUCKY TO BE ALIVE) and neon signs (EROS) foreshadowing and commenting on the action. In Kubrick's work, nothing is incidental.

Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post mentions that the Harfords' apartment "must have cost $7 million," but only to make fun of Kubrick's apparent disconnection from contemporary America. [4] But the meticulously rendered setting of the film, the luxurious apartments and sumptuous mansions, are meant to raise eyebrows. Kubrick and his collaborator, Frederic Raphael, discussed exactly how much money a New York doctor like Bill Harford must earn per year. [5] The Harfords' standard of living raises questions about their money, and where it comes from--from Bill's sparsely scheduled private practice, or the sorts of under-the-table services we see rendered upstairs at the party? Dr. Harford is on call to that class of person who can afford not to wait in emergency rooms or die in hospitals--people like his friend Victor Ziegler, whose name denotes him as one of the world's winners. Bill uncomfortably tries to compliment the prostitute Domino's apartment by calling it "cozy" (and her use of the standard joke "maid's day off" to excuse the leftovers and mess only draws further awkward attention to the class gulf between them), but his own place looks cramped and cluttered compared to Victor's. Ziegler's house is reminiscent of the Overlook Hotel, with its vast ballrooms and grand staircases, its mirrors and gilt, its bedroom-sized bathrooms. And even Ziegler's place seems modest compared to the opulent Moorish palace of Somerton, where the secret orgy takes place (in Schnitzler's novella it is "a one-story villa in a modest Empire style." [6]) To some extent, the fact that no critics recognized this as deliberate is excusable; we've all learned to overlook the fantastic affluence of the sets and wardrobe in most movies and TV shows, just as black audiences had, for decades, to try to ignore the oppressive whiteness of everyone onscreen. But make no mistake: this is not a film about the "private dreams and frustrations" of what Victor condescendingly calls "ordinary people"; it is about really rich people, the kind that Lord Wendover in Barry Lyndon and Mr. Ullman in The Shining call "all the best people." And it shows us that these people are empty and amoral, using their social inferiors as thoughtlessly as if they were possessions, ultimately more concerned with social transgressions like infidelity than with crimes like murder--just as the film's audience is more interested in the sex it was supposed to be all about than the killing that is at its core.

There's no reason to assume we're expected to like Bill and Alice Harford (in fact, Kubrick once told Michael Herr he wanted to make a film about doctors because "everyone hates doctors." [7]) They don't, like typical Hollywood villains, literally slather or speak with foreign accents. The Harfords are what we think of, uncritically, as "nice" people--that is to say, attractive and well-educated, a couple who collect art and listen to Shostakovitch. But evil among our elites is more often a matter of willful ignorance and passivity--of blindness--than of any deliberate cruelty. And Kubrick emphasizes that culture and erudition have nothing to do with goodness or depth of character; in this film they have more to do with the exhibitionistic display of imperial wealth.

The paintings that cover the Harfords' walls from floor to ceiling (painted by Kubrick's wife Christiane) almost all depict flowers or food, making explicit the function of art in their environment as mere décor-art for consumption. Most of them probably come from Alice's defunct gallery, which brokered paintings like any other commodity. (Helena, the Harfords' daughter, helps her mother gift-wrap a massive collection of paintings by Van Gogh--the icon of an artist who died in obscurity but whose reproductions on calendars, ties, and coffee mugs now make quick millions for the canny marketers in the museum industry.) The Harfords aren't the only art--lovers in the film; the apartment of Bill's patient Lou Nathanson is decorated with even more expensive objets d'art (and his bedroom, like the hall outside the Harford's apartment, is wallpapered with imperial French fluers-de-lis); Victor Ziegler has a famous collection, including antique china arrayed in glass cases, a soaring winged statue of Cupid and Psyche in his stairwell, and, reputedly, a gallery of Renaissance bronzes upstairs; and the house in Somerton is hung with tapestries and oil portraits of stern patriarchs, and decorated in appropriated historical styles from Medieval to Moorish to Venetian to Louis XIV. Like the trashed mansion of the renowned playwright and pedophile Clare Quilty in Lolita, these people's houses are tastefully stacked with the plundered treasures of the world.

The film's elegant, antique appointments, its opening waltz, and its cast full of European characters (Sandor Szavost, the models Gayle and Nuala, the Nathansons, Milich, the maitre d' at the Sonata Café) all blur the distinction between Millennial Manhattan and fin-de-siecle Vienna, another corrupt and decadent high culture on the brink of an abyss. In the champagne haze of Victor's party the 1990s and 1890s become one, just as the '70s and the '20s merged in one evening at the Overlook Hotel. But the comparison is not only to the European capitals of the Gilded Age; a broad sweep of references establishes America's continuity with a number of previous imperial periods. Sandor Szavost, Alice's would-be seducer, inquires whether she has read Ovid's Art of Love, a reference fraught with sly implications. Art of Love is a satiric guide to the etiquette of adultery, set among the elite classes of Augustus's Rome, full of advice about bribing servants, buying gifts, and avoiding gold-diggers. (Szavost's drinking from Alice's glass is a move lifted right out of Ovid's pick-up manual.) And the fact that Ovid was an exile from his own center of empire further links him to the expatriate Hungarian. Szavost's extraordinary skill at the Viennese waltz, and his offer to show her Ziegler's collection of sculptures, extend the instances of imperially--sponsored high art from the Latin poetry of Rome to the ballroom dance of the Austro-Hungarian Empire and the plastic arts of the renaissance, bringing them all up to date in New York's glittering, art-encrusted façade.

While Alice resists Szavost's courtly come-ons, her husband is called away to the scene of a less polished assignation, where Kubrick shows us what lies behind that façade: unadorned exploitation and death. Behind the scenes at Ziegler's party, in an upstairs bathroom, Bill Harford finds the same thing Jack Torrance finds in room 237 of the Overlook, and that Private Joker confronts at the end of Full Metal Jacket: a woman's body. Banal dance music echoes from downstairs as we see the call girl Mandy sprawled naked in a narcotic stupor, while Victor hurriedly pulls up his pants, his use of her having been interrupted by an overdose. (Or has it?) After Bill brings her around, Victor impresses upon him that this near-scandal has to be kept "just between us"--but Kubrick, our own contemporary American artist-in-exile, in his own bitter Art of Love, tells all. With every detail and allusion he exposes the base, exploitative impulses behind imperial high culture: the erudite Szavost uses the classics, ballroom dance, and Renaissance sculpture as so many lines and props to seduce another man's wife, while Victor, looking distractedly down at Mandy as she lies naked and twitching, is framed by a painted nude. Asked about Alex's fondness for Ludwig Van in A Clockwork Orange, Kubrick answered, "I think this suggests the failure of culture to have any morally refining effect on society. Many top Nazis were cultured and sophisticated men, but it didn't do them, or anyone else, much good." [8] This point is reprised overtly in Eyes Wide Shut when we hear the title of a Beethoven opera used as the password to an orgy.

As omnipresent as the art in the film's backgrounds are its Christmas decorations. It isn't incidental that the story is set at Christmastime; Schnitzler's book, which the script follows closely in most other particulars, is not (it takes place "just before the end of carnival period"). [9] Stanley Kubrick seems to have gotten seriously into the Yuletide spirit in his last film. Hardly an interior in the film (except the Satanic orgy) is without a baubled Christmas tree. Almost every set is suffused with the dreamlike, hazy glow of colored lights and tinsel. In the film's first scene, the Harfords' daughter Helena wants to stay up to watch The Nutcracker on TV. And its denouement takes place in the toy section of a decidedly upscale department store, where they've taken Helena Christmas shopping. Eyes Wide Shut, though it was released in summer, was the   Christmas movie of 1999.

There is a chain of allusions to the Judeo-Christian fall-and-redemption myth throughout the film: Alice's allegorical dream about being "naked," "terrified," and "ashamed," and fucking "in a beautiful garden," the Harford's Edenic apartment crammed with plants and paintings of gardens, the two temptresses at Ziegler's party, twined and undulating like serpents, practically molting out of their glittering skintight gowns, the picture of an apple with a single vaginal slice cut from it on the wall of the prostitute's kitchen, and the self-sacrificial "redemption" ritual at the orgy. This all seems like unexpectedly old-world symbolism coming from a famously atheistic director whose films all take place in a modern, Godless universe. (The most memorable Christian imagery in Kubrick's previous films are Alex's ceramic chorus line of can-canning Christs and his Hollywood-epic daydream about being a centurion who gets to flog Him in A Clockwork Orange. And in that film it's clear that Christianity is just a less effective version of the sadistic, Skinnerian Ludovico treatment.) But these Biblical references only serve to show us how bankrupt the Christian ethic is in America by the end of the second millennium A.D., how completely it's been coopted and undermined by commerce. As Ziegler angrily tells Bill in their final confrontation, "That whole play-acted 'take me' phony sacrifice had absolutely nothing to do with her real death!" No, her death had more to do with the cult of secrecy and power at the heart of wealth--in other words, just business.

In Eyes Wide Shut, much as in the real world circa 1999, Christmas is less a religious observance than an annual orgy of consumerism, the ecstatic climax of the retail year. MERRY CHRISTMAS banners hang in places of business alongside signs reading NO CHECKS ACCEPTED and THANK YOU FOR YOUR CUSTOM. Rows of Christmas cards are on display in Bill's office below a not particularly merry sign saying, "Payment is expected at the time of treatment unless other arrangements have previously been made." These juxtapositions undercut the supposed significance of the holiday and reveal the real nature of the season, its ostensible warmth and sentimentality belied by the bottom line. Even Milich, the Scroogelike owner of Rainbow Costumes, calls holiday greetings to the two men who have just come to "another arrangement" concerning the use of his daughter. The whole movie is brimming over with the spirit of the season. The equation of Christmas with crass desire is made explicit by the song heard in the Gillespie Diner: "I Want a Boy for Christmas." The Nutcracker is the story of a little girl whose toy comes to life and turns into a handsome prince, which the Harfords' daughter Helena wants to stay up to watch. "Christmas shopping" with Helena turns out to mean letting her run around picking out items she wants exclusively for herself.

The Harfords themselves (like most of the film's reviewers) don't really see their surrounding mise-en-scène--their wealth, their art, the ubiquitous Christmas glitz. They're preoccupied instead with their own petty lusts and jealousies. But again and again Kubrick visually links his characters to their settings, indicting them as part of the rarefied world in which they live and move, through which his relentless Steadicam tracks them like an omniscient presence. At Ziegler's ball, the starburst pattern of lights on the walls is echoed by the lace edging of Alice's gown and by the blue stelliform ribbon on Szavost's lapel. Bill is haunted wherever he goes by the colors blue and gold, the color of the wallpaper outside his apartment. Domino first appears in a black-and-white striped fur coat, a pattern repeated in the zebra skin stool at her dresser and the coat of the plush tiger on her bed. These people are as much commodities as the art and décor-that is, everyone can be bought.

Alice's obvious resentment of her husband, which she only expresses when she's dreaming or drugged, is motivated by her unconscious recognition that she is a kept woman. We know Bill's supporting her, her art gallery having gone broke. She tells Szavost that she's looking for a job, but we don't see her looking; mostly we see her being looked at. Alice's role as a voyeuristic object is defined by her first breathtaking appearance and by her first onscreen line: "How do I look?" (And it rankles her that her husband doesn't see her anymore--he tells her that her hair looks "perfect" without even looking, and asks her the babysitter's name about twenty seconds after she's told him.) Everyone she encounters in the first fifteen minutes of the film compliments her appearance; Bill dutifully tells her she always looks beautiful, the babysitter exclaims, "You look amazing, Mrs. Harford," and she's also flattered by such admirers of beauty as Victor Ziegler and Sandor Szavost. Ziegler tells her she looks "absolutely stunning--and I don't say that to all the women." "Oh, yes he does," retorts his wife--a joke that resonates unfunnily when we find out who "all the women" associated with Ziegler are.

Being beautiful is Alice's job, as much as it is the former beauty queen and call girl Mandy's or the hooker Domino's. During the quotidian-life-of-the-Harfords montage, in which her husband examines patients at the office, we only see Alice tending to her toilette: brushing her daughter's hair, regally hooking on a brassiere, applying deodorant in front of the bathroom mirror. Hers is the daytime regimen of a courtesan (or an actress), devoted to the rigorous maintenance of her looks. She's associated, more than any other character, with mirrors; we see her giving herself a critical once-over before leaving the party, and look of frank self-assessment in the medicine cabinet when she decides to get stoned. Her expression in the mirror as she watches her husband making love to her (the film's iconic image) begins as bemusement, giving way to fondness and arousal, but in the last seconds before the fade-out it becomes something more ambiguous, distracted and self-conscious; this is her moment of clearest self-recognition, an uncomfortable glimpse of what she really is.

Alice's real status is unmistakably suggested: the wife as prostitute. She's identified with the hooker Mandy through a series of parallels: they're both tall redheads with a taste for numbing drugs, we first see them both in bathrooms, and Mandy's last night "being fucked by hundreds of men" is distortedly echoed in Alice's dream. Alice is also associated with the streetwalker Domino by the purple of her sheets and Domino's dress, and by their conspicuous dressing-table mirrors (the essential accoutrement of anyone who lives by her looks). Mandy and Domino are connected, as in dream-associations, by the identical consonants of their names, just as Alice is connected with Domino's roommate Sally (their names being aural anagrams). When Domino disappears, she's replaced by Sally the next day, just as in dream-logic one person may turn into another yet remain the same. In a sense, there is only one woman in the film. Lee Siegel sees the various prostitutes that Bill meets as different incarnations of his wife, the woman he's really seeking all along. [10] But the similarities between them are more revealing (if less romantic) when read the other way--as insinuating that Alice is just another, higher-class whore. When we last see her in the film, in that toy store, she's surrounded by shelves full of stuffed tigers like the one on Domino's bed. (Kubrick also used tiger and leopard-print patterns in Lolita as a code to connote Charlotte Haze's predatory sexuality.) Even in this scene, as she delivers the film's ostensible moral, Alice is visually linked to a doomed hooker.

She's also grooming her daughter Helena (named after the most beautiful woman in history) to become a high-ticket item like herself. During the montage of their day at home, we see Helena alongside her mother in almost every shot, holding the brush while her mother gathers her hair into a ponytail, brushing her teeth at the mirror, learning to groom herself. When we overhear her doing word problems with her mother, she's learning how to calculate which boy has more money than the other. We hear her reading a bedtime story aloud, reciting the line, "...before me when I jump into my bed." In this film, a line about "jumping into bed" can't be innocent. Her mother silently mouths it along with her, echoing and coaching her. At Bill's office, we see a photo of Helena in a purple dress, like the one worn by the girl her father paid for sex the night before.

Like his wife, Bill Harford is defined by his first line: "Honey, have you seen my wallet?" She is a possession; he is a buyer. ("Doctor Bill," as both his wife and Domino call him, is a pun, like Jack D. Ripper or Private Joker.) He flashes his credentials and hands out fifty- and hundred-dollar bills to charm, bribe, or intimidate cabbies, clerks, receptionists, and hookers--all members of the vast, compliant service economy on whom the enormous disparities of wealth in America are founded. Including (unconsummated) prostitution, costume rental, assorted bribes, and cab fare, his tab for a single illicit night out totals over seven hundred dollars. He does not seem fazed by the expenditure. His asking Domino "Should we talk about money?" his repeated insistence on paying her for services not quite rendered, his extended haggling with Milich and the cab driver--all these conversations about cash are too frequent, drawn-out, and conspicuous to be included in the interest of verisimilitude. They do not occur in the novel. Doctor Bill is nothing if not a conspicuous consumer; he even tears a hundred-dollar-bill in half with a smirk.

Bill's nocturnal journey into illicit sexuality is, more importantly, a journey into invisible strata of wealth and power. Money is the subtext of sex from the very first temptation of Bill; the two models who flirtatiously draw him away from his wife at Ziegler's ball invite him enigmatically to follow them "Where the rainbow ends." At that moment he's called away, saying to them, "To be continued...?" After he's gone, the two models exchange a cryptic, conspiratorial look. The exchange foreshadows Bill's finding himself at Rainbow Costume rentals--"to be continued," indeed. We never find out exactly what the models meant, but everyone knows what lies at the end of the rainbow.

The colorful arc of Bill's adventure does lead to the pot of gold, Somerton, the innermost sanctum of the ultrawealthy where the secret orgy is held. The orgy scenes in particular were singled out by reviewers for disappointment and derision. Listen to the groans of critical blueballs: David Denby called it "the most pompous orgy in the history of film." [11] "More ludicrous than provocative," said Michiko Kakutani, "more voyeuristic than scary." [12] "Whose idea of an orgy is this," demanded Stephen Hunter, "the Catholic Church's?" [13] Again they misunderstood Kubrick's artistic intentions, which are clearly not sensual. When Bill passes through the ornate portal past a beckoning golden-masked doorman, we should understand that we are entering the realm of myth and nightmare. This sequence is the clearest condemnation, in allegorical dream imagery, of elite society as corrupt, exploitative, and depraved--what they used to call, in a simpler time, evil. The pre-orgiastic rites are overtly Satanic, a Black Mass complete with a high priest gowned in crimson, droning organ and backward-masked Latin liturgy. What we see enacted is a ceremony in which faceless, interchangeable female bodies are doled out, fucked, and exchanged among black-cloaked figures, culminating in the ritual mass rape and sacrificial murder of a woman.

The haunted ambiance here recalls that of the film's other big exclusive party, Zieglers; the opulent surroundings, the mannered, leaden dialogue, the camera afloat like the disembodied point of view in a dream. A ballroom full of naked, masked couples dancing to "Strangers in the Night" recalls not only Ziegler's party but the Overlook Hotel, whose ghosts also danced and coupled in costume. (Remember the quick, surreal zoom shot in The Shining of someone in a bestial costume fellating tuxedoed millionaire Horace Derwent in an upstairs room?) The two occasions, the party and the orgy, are conclusively linked in the back room of Rainbow Fashions, a sort of antechamber to Somerton, where we see a row of masked and costumed mannequins posed in front of the same cascade of glittering white lights that hung from the walls at Ziegler's.

The orgy makes the metaphor of sexual objectification visually literal. The prostitutes wear masks that render them anonymous and identical. Their nude bodies are unnaturally perfect, smooth and immaculate as mannequins, lit under a chilling white spotlight and photographed with that Kubrickian detachment that somehow desaturates them of any real eroticism. The ritualistic kisses exchanged are spooky and sterile, the sculpted white lips of one mask touching another's. The sex consists of static tableaux of spectators posed around mechanically rutting participants. A masked and tuxedoed valet on all fours serves as a platform for a fucking couple, a piece of human furniture like the tables at the Korova Milk Bar in A Clockwork Orange. One might remember, with a shudder, the Lugosian-toned Szavost inviting Alice to have casual sex upstairs, among the sculptures.

The masks worn by the revelers (Venetian--an allusion to another mercantile empire) serve a similar symbolic purpose: the transformation of the wearer into a soulless object. They certainly aren't expressive of ecstatic self-annihilation, as some critics suggested; they're creepy as hell. We see a bird with a scythe-like beak, a cubist face fractured in half, contorted grimaces and leers, a frozen howl, painted tears, blindly gazing eyes. These revelers have "lost themselves" not in erotic abandon but in the same way that the recruits in Full Metal Jacket lose their Selves, along with their hair and their names. The utterly still, silent shots of staring masks at Bill's "trial" are images of empty-eyed dehumanization, faces of death. Note that when Ziegler first sees Bill enter the ceremonial hall, even though they are both masked, he gives him a knowing nod. He recognizes him. Here the guests at Ziegler's party are unmasked for what they really are.

Masks and mannequins are a recurring motif in Kubrick's work: think of the fight with mannequin's limbs in Killer's Kiss, the anthropomorphic furniture at the Korova, the grotesque masks worn in The Killing and A Clockwork Orange. In Eyes Wide Shut we see them not only at the orgy but throughout the film, always as harbingers of death. A stone Greek mask keeps vigil by Lou Nathanson's deathbed. African masks gaze down, like the masked spectators silently watching the sex acts at Somerton, at the bed where Bill has his interrupted trick with the HIV+ hooker Domino. A "domino" is itself a kind of mask.

They also serve as metaphors for women being treated like possessions. Costumed mannequins surround Bill and Milich in the back room at Rainbow Costumes. "Like life, eh?" says Milich, just before he catches his daughter consorting with two men in wigs and livid makeup. Milich's daughter, for all the coquettish depravity at play in her face, looks somehow as eerily inanimate as the Grady twins in The Shining--her skin is smooth and white as the mannequins in the back room, her painted lips and glittering eyes flawless as a china doll's. In a carefully composed shot in the scene when Bill returns his costume, we see Milich and his daughter paired on the right side of the frame opposite Bill and one of the mannequins (seen through the door to the back room) paired on the left. "If Doctor Harford should ever need anything else," says Milich, hugging his daughter close beside the cash register, "Anything at all... it needn't be a costume." The line only reinforces the visual equation of the girl with the store's more legitimate merchandise. And the three times we see Mandy her face is always a mask: in Ziegler's bedroom, her eyes are lit to look like empty black holes in her face; at the orgy she is literally masked; and on the slab at the morgue her face is slack and white, here eyes wide open but sightless.

Although Bill doesn't actually fuck or kill anyone himself, he is implicated in the exploitation and deaths of all of the women he encounters. (Like the sign over the Sonata Café says... "The customer is always wrong.") He didn't give Domino HIV, but she contracted it servicing someone like him. Milich alternates with hilarious aplomb between berating the men he's caught with his daughter--"Will you please to be quiet! Can't you see I am trying to serve a customer?"--and unctuous apologies to Harford, conflating the two exchanges. (After all, Bill isn't just paying for a costume but for the illicit opportunity it affords.) And does it really make a difference whether Mandy was ceremonially executed by some evil cabal or only allowed to O.D. after being gang-banged again? Given Kubrick's penchant for blackly humorous literalism (think of "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here--this is the War Room!" or "I said, I'm not gonna hurt you--I'm just going to bash your brains in"), when Ziegler explains that Mandy wasn't murdered, "she got her brains fucked out," the contradiction should be obvious.

Bill learns about Mandy's overdose in a café whose walls are covered with antique portraits of women, while Mozart's Requiem plays. The setting and the music make the moment timeless, universal. Kubrick's last three films form a sort of thematic trilogy about our culture's hatred of the female. In The Shining, Jack Torrance despises his wife and child and tries to murder them, just as the previous "caretaker" murdered his wife and daughters. (We also hear, on a TV news bulletin, about a woman who's "disappeared while on a hunting trip with her husband.") In Full Metal Jacket, the institutionalized misogyny of the Marine Corps is pervasive, and the absence of women (we see only two hookers and a sniper) is so conspicuous it becomes a haunting presence. The film's climax is the execution of a fifteen-year-old girl. The requiem in the Sonata Café isn't just for Mandy but for all the anonymous, expendable women used and disposed of by men of Harford's class throughout the ages.

For all his flaunting of his money and professional rank, Bill Harford is ultimately put back in his place as a member of the serving class. Recall how he's summoned away from Ziegler's party in the same polite but perfunctory manner as his friend Nick, the pianist; like him, Bill is just hired help, the party doctor, called upon to repair (if possible) and cover up (if necessary) human messes like Mandy. When he goes to his patient Lou Nathanson's apartment, he's met by their housemaid, Rosa, who's also dressed in black with a white collar, in a perfectly symmetrical entry hall where every object is in a matched pair. The shot makes the doctor and the maid doubles; they're equals here. When Bill tries to infiltrate the orgy, he's given away by telltale class markers--he shows up in a taxi rather than a limo, and has a costume rental slip in his pocket. His real status at Somerton, as an outsider and intruder, is spelled out for him the next day when he returns to the estate, only to be dismissed with a terse typed note handed him through the bars of the front gate by a tight-lipped servant. (This isn't the only time we see Bill through bars--he has to bribe his way past the grated door at Milich's.) When Ziegler finally calls him onto the carpet for his transgressions, he chuckles at Bill's refusal of a case of 25-year-old Scotch (Bill drinks Bud from the can), not just because this extravagance would be a trifle to him, but because Bill's pretense of integrity is an empty gesture--he's already been bought. Bill may be able to buy, bribe, and command his own social inferiors, and he may own Alice, but he's Ziegler's man.

Although Ziegler has a credible explanation for everything that's happened--Harford's harassment, Nick Nightingale's beating, Mandy's death--we don't ever really know whether he's telling the truth or lying to cover up Mandy's murder. The script carefully withholds any conclusive evidence that would let us feel comfortably certain either way. But Ziegler does have suspiciously privileged access to details of the case: "The door was locked from the inside, the police are happy, end of story! [dismissive lip fart.]" He also claims to be dropping his façade and coming clean a few too many times to be believed: "I have to be completely frank," "Bill, please--no games," and finally, "All right, Bill, let's... let's... let's cut the bullshit, all right?" And notice how he introduces his explanation: "Suppose  I were to tell you..." [emphasis mine]. He's not being "frank"; he's offering Bill an escape, a plausible, face-saving explanation for the girl's death to assuage his unexpectedly agitated conscience. (And it's one of the few things that Bill has a hard time buying--watch the way his hand adheres to his cheek and slowly slides off his face as he rises to his feet and walks dazedly across the room, trying to absorb the incredible coincidence Ziegler's asking him to swallow.) Ziegler's "no games" plea notwithstanding, this entire conversation is a game--a gentlemanly back-and-forth of challenges and evasions over a question of life and death, throughout which the two opponents circle each other uneasily around a blood-red billiards table.

When Bill persists in his inquiries, Ziegler loses his temper and resorts to intimidation and threats. He reminds him of their respective ranks as master and man: "You've been way out of your depth for the last twenty-four hours," he growls. Of his fellow revelers at Somerton, he says, "Who do you think those people were? Those were not ordinary people there. If I told you their names--I'm not going to tell you their names, but if I did, you might not sleep so well." In other words, they're "all the best people," the sorts of supremely wealthy and powerful men who can buy and sell "ordinary" men like Bill and Nick Nightingale, and fuck or kill women like Mandy and Domino. The "you might not sleep so well" is also a veiled warning, and it isn't Ziegler's last. His final word of advice--"Life goes on. It always does... until it doesn't. But you know that, don't you, Bill?"--proffered with an avuncular, unpleasantly proprietary rub of the shoulders, sounds like a reassurance but masks a threat. (We immediately cut from this to a less friendly warning, the mask placed on Bill's pillow.) Bill's expression, in the foreground, is by now so tight and working with suppressed and conflicting feelings that it's hard to read, but one of those feelings is clearly fear for his life--he looks as though he might burst into tears or hysterical laughter, and when Victor claps those patronizing hands on his shoulders, he flinches. In the end, he chooses to accept Victor's explanation not because there's any evidence to confirm it, but because it's a convenient excuse to back down from the dangers of further investigation. He finally understands that he, too, no less than a hooker or a hired piano player, is expendable.

So the questions remain: did Mandy just O.D., or was she murdered? Was Bill's jeweled mask left on his pillow by Alice as an accusation, or by Ziegler's friends as a third and last warning, a death threat like the horse's head in the bed in The Godfather? These are crucial questions, ones that Kubrick deliberately leaves unanswered. And yet most reviewers didn't even seem to notice that they were questions, instead automatically projecting their own interpretations onto the story--most assuming that Ziegler was providing redundant exposition, that Mandy's death was the coincidence Ziegler claimed it to be, and that Alice put the mask there herself. (Dream Story does not even include the character of Ziegler, or any final confrontation with a member of the secret society, and it also makes it clear that it was the protagonist's wife who placed the mask on the bed.) But Kubrick bends over so far backward to preserve these ambiguities that they become glaring, demanding of us that we, like Bill, consciously decide what we're going to believe. Bill's reaction when he sees the mask in his bed could be interpreted either as shame and relief at having his lies exposed, or as the terrified realization that his wife and daughter could have been murdered in their sleep. When Alice wakes up to Bill's sobbing, her expression doesn't betray whether she's startled to see the mask beside her or already knows it's there. When we cut to her the next morning, her eyes swollen and red-rimmed with weeping, we don't know whether she's crying because her husband almost cheated on her or because he's endangered their family. And the final dialogue between Bill and Alice is so vague and allusive ("What should we do?" "Maybe we should be grateful,") that it could as easily refer to Mandy's murder and the implied threat to their lives as to Bill's indiscretions. If we choose to believe the former, then the Harfords aren't just reconciling over their imagined and attempted infidelities; they're agreeing to cover up a crime, to be accomplices after the fact to a homicide.

This is the film's final test--a projection test, like the ambiguous cartoons with blank word balloons shown to Alex at the end of A Clockwork Orange to determine whether his conditioning has been broken. His lascivious and violent interpretations of the images proves that it has. But has ours? The open-ended narrative forces us to ask ourselves what we're really seeing; is Eyes Wide Shut a movie about marriage, sex, and jealousy, or about money, whores, and murder? Before you make up your own mind, consider this: has there ever been a Stanley Kubrick film in which someone didn't get killed?

In the film's upbeat but dissonant denouement, the Harfords have taken their daughter Helena Christmas shopping, but they respond to her wishes only politely, distracted by their own inner children. Like many reviewers, they're still wrapped up in psychology and sex, missing the sociological implications of what's onscreen. But, as in so much of Kubrick's work, the dialogue is misdirection; the real story is being told visually. As poor Helena flits anxiously from one display to the next (already an avid little consumer) every item she fondles associates her with the women who have been exploited and destroyed by her father's circle. Helena's Christmas list includes a blue baby carriage (like the blue stroller seen twice outside Domino's apartment), an oversized teddy bear (next to a rack of tigers like the one on Domino's bed) and a Barbie doll (reminiscent of Milich's daughter) dressed in a diaphanous angel costume just like the one Helena herself wore in the film's first scene. She herself has already become a doll, a thing to be dressed up with cute costumes and accessories. Another toy, conspicuously displayed under a red ring of lights, is called "The Magic Circle"; the name is an allusion to the ring of ritual prostitutes at the orgy, and the bright red color of the box recalls the carpet on which they genuflected to the high priest, as well as the felt of the pool table over which Bill made his own bargain with the devil. The subplot with Milich and his daughter is clearly echoed here, in another place of business, as the Harfords also casually pimp their own little angel out to the world of commerce.

ALICE: And, you know, there is something very important we have to do as soon as possible.

BILL: What's that?

ALICE: Fuck.

As Eyes Wide Shut closes, this final exchange between Bill and Alice suggests that all the dark adventures they've confessed ("whether they were real or only dreams"), and all the crimes in which they are complicit, have occasioned nothing more than another kinky turn-on, no more enlightening than the flirtations at the ball that inflamed their lovemaking when they got home. For all their incoherent talk about being "awake" now, their eyes are still wide shut. Reconciled, they plan to forget all this unpleasantness soon in the blissful oblivion of orgasm. (Try keeping your eyes open during orgasm.) Maybe, in the end, it is a film about sexual obsession after all; about sex as an all-consuming distraction from the ugly realities of wealth and power all around us. Maybe the customer is always wrong.

Certainly a subtler psychological reading of the film than has yet been attempted would be possible. But to focus exclusively on the Harford's unexamined inner lives is to remain willfully blind to the profoundly visual filmic world that Stanley Kubrick devoted a career's labors to creating. The slice of that world he tried to show us in his last--and, he believed, his best--work, the capital of the global American empire at the end of the American Century, is one in which the wealthy, powerful, and privileged use the rest of us like throwaway products, covering up their crimes with pretty pictures, shiny surfaces, and murder, ultimately dooming their own children to lives of servitude and whoredom. The feel-good ending intimates, in Kubrick's very last word on this (or any) subject, that the Harfords' daughter is, just as they've resigned themselves to being, fucked.


Acknowledgements: The seven hundred hours I spent in conversation with Rob Content about this film were invaluable in developing my argument. Bart Taylor of Giotto Perspectives pointed out some of the Christian imagery in the film to me. I am also indebted to Boyd White, guitarist and singer for The Sores, and to Ann Martin, editor of Film Quarterly, for their editorial acumen. Thanks to the University of California Press for permission to re-print this article.

Biographical Information: Tim Kreider is a cartoonist. His work can be seen at WWW.THEPAINCOMICS.COM and in the Baltimore City Paper.


Notes:

[1] Kakutani, Michiko. "A Connoisseur of Cool Tries to Raise the Temperature." The New York Times, 18 July 1999. p. 22. &Nbsp; back

[2] Ciment, Michel. "Second Interview" in Kubrick. Translated from the French by Gilbert Adair. New York: Holt, Reinhart, and Winston, 1980, p. 171. &Nbsp; back

[3] Blakemore, Bill. "The Family of Man." San Francisco Chronicle Syndicate, 29 July 1987.   back

[4] Hunter, Stephen. "The Lust Picture Show: Stanley Kubrick Stumbled with his Eyes Wide Shut." The Washington Post, 16 July 1999, p. C5. &Nbsp; back

[5] Raphael, Frederic. Eyes Wide Shut: A Memoir of Stanley Kubrick. &Nbsp; back

[6] Schnitzler, Arthur. Dream Story. Translated from the German by Otto P. Schinnerer. Los Angeles: Sun & Moon Press, 1995, p. 128. &Nbsp; back

[7] Herr, Michael. Kubrick. New York: Grove Press, 2000, p. 13 &Nbsp; back

[8] Ciment, Michel. "First Interview" in Kubrick, p. 163. &Nbsp; back

[9] Schnitzler, Dream Story, p. 4. &Nbsp; back

[10] Siegel, Lee. "Eyes Wide Shut: What the Critics Failed to See in Kubrick's Last Film." Harper's Magazine, October 1999, vol. 299, #1793, p. 76 - 83. &Nbsp; back

[11] Denby, David. "Last Waltz." The New Yorker, 26 July 1999, p. 84. &Nbsp; back

[12] The ever-perceptive Ms. Kakutani, p. 22. &Nbsp; back

[13] That dimwit Hunter, p. C5. &Nbsp; back


@&#~%@

小说是对现实生活的一种隐喻,而这种隐喻机制是建构的,即这种机制建立以后,并不代表其功能就以固定不变。

隐喻是从源域到目标域的投射,这一基本结构是不变的,但是由于每个解读隐喻——对隐喻进行接吗转译的人的世界只是和经验背景不同,每个人对隐喻的理解也不同。或者可以这样认为,隐喻是一种函数,其主体和喻体间的投射关系构架为映射,源域为定义域,目标域为函数域。定义域的取值区间分别为主体以及附带于其上的社会共同文化心理,但同时个人经验也有相当的比重。因此,作为由作者构建、有读者计算的函数,产出的目标域又带有极强的个人主义色彩。因此,隐喻的效果是建构的,个人的阐释得到针对个人的不同意义。

推及小说,可以认为作者在写的过程中赋予了自我,每一部小说都有自我表达、自我追求和自我实现的成分;对于读者,每个读者在解读小说的过程中,尝试通过转译作者的文字码得到作者意图的表达的同时,有时在解读自我、构建自我,在解读作者呈现的社会的过程中又构建了一个崭新的世界。

也就是说,不存在绝对同意的阅读感受和小说实现,又如不存在绝对真理;只存在大众观感和作者意图的交集。可以得到的最大交集可视作小说真正本原的估计,又如无穷的相对真理可以无限逼近绝对真理。

小说

很多年前的一个晚上,我已经记不得具体的日期。

但那确实对我很重要的一个夜晚,纵使它已经过去了很多年。

那同样也是一个秋季,但是时间要比眼前稍早一些。我想那时的晚上应该比现在黑的纯粹,星星比钻石璀璨,蜿蜒无尽的公路有一整条路的路灯给它镶上了金色的边。

那个晚上,那个人我一生也无法忘怀。

纵然他已基本从我的生命中消失。

纵然我手中徒然的拥有他那即将也是早晚会废弃的地址。

可是我向往他。纵然,他不爱我。

我想我是如此的向往他,以至于很多年来我又爱过了很多人,很多人也爱过了我,可是我还是对他念念不忘。

我爱过一个黄头发卷卷的男生。他说一口漂亮的英文,他总是笑着直盯着我的眼睛。在我们在梧桐树下相倚着喁语的时候,在我等待他每个周日晚上九点必至的电话到来的时候,在他有一天不辞而别干净利落去了法国,留下我遭受被遗弃的伤害流下眼泪的时候,我心里向往的却是他。

一个黑黑瘦瘦带着窄边眼镜的男生爱过我。他送给我精致的鱼形镂空花瓶和VEROMODA的粗线帽,他在雪地中突然强硬地将我抱起来打转,我们一起在圣诞节前吃火锅再吵吵闹闹,每一刻,我心里依然向往他。

有一个忧郁的男生一直爱我,这我知道。我也非常在乎他。我时常想这个世界灭亡了吧我放弃了所有也不能放弃他。我在心情不好的时候一定想到他,而他总是不管下多大的雨离得有多远第一时间体贴地来到我身旁。他画一手好画,正准备去菲律宾开画展。他向我推荐好听的音乐,那些零落细腻的歌词是我总找不到表达不好的词句。可是,我最最向往的还是他。

现在,我有一个很好的爱人,清俊潇洒,是个摇滚诗人,他有星星般明亮的笑容和湖水般幽深的眼睛。我总是沉溺在他睫毛的浓密阴影里陶醉的不能自拔。他的声音如同降落在花园草坪上的雨,我听了心情就像花开。可每当我软绵绵的闭上眼睛迎接他的亲吻,我心里向往的人儿——仍是他。

我经常回忆他一个人独来独往的样子,穿着一件淡蓝色的衬衣,低着头,退开了人群,一个人在秋日里空下慢慢踱着,手抄在口袋里。凉风吹过,掀动他的衣角,像一朵水仙看着水中的倒影凋零自己的花瓣;像一朵丁香在秋风中潇洒地飘落。

我经常会想起他措不及防的笑容。他措不及防的笑了,温和得像山间的溪流洒满金色的阳光,刹那间眼前阳光般明亮温暖。

明明手头有很多事要做,但是似乎不写下来我就在撑不过这一刻。

昨天下午当我得知自己被扔在中关村一街的时候,我的眼泪真的要留下来。

并不是任何人的问题,只不过是我自己的问题而已。

 

三四点的中关村雾蒙蒙的,太阳很遥远。奇怪的是,中关村西和中关村南那一个角如此喧闹,而中关村东这一侧的桥就那么萧条。灰蒙蒙的,我就迎着阳光站着,不知道往哪里去。站在站牌下,我找了好久的站牌,而我刚刚得知,那个目的地已经取消。

取消,我迎着风提着电脑踩着高跟靴的脚开始痛,我不知道去哪里,然后眼泪就要留下来。

 

只不过这样一个关口,而似乎所有郁结在潜意识里的不满意就要喷薄而出。莫名。

不知道是因为茫然,还是因为寂寞;抑或孤独无助。

 

我掏出电话来,不知道该打给谁。

很久很久以前,我所有的第一反应就是你。但是现在,你已经不在这里。

脑海里不停不停地响起eelsselective memory:

    If I lay my head on I will see you in my dream

    Putting on that polka dress

    And sitting by the stream

        ……

        I wish I could remember

        But my selective memory

        Won’t let me

   就仿佛,我所有的言语已经没有了出口。

   而这样的生活,我们都要继续。我想我的内心是不够强大,所以我才永远这样,生活不断出现break point。而你呢,我以前从来没有考虑过你,你够不够强大? 有没有人,让你取暖?

我从来没有问过;而现在我再也没有机会问。

生活是如此忙碌。而我会在某个凛冽的冬夜想起你,想起我们的过去,想起安妮问你和Dab还好吗?想起我们身在异乡,什么时候能再在一起,只有我们在一起;想起那些夏天的夜晚,我们在外面游荡到11点,和你在一起我就永远有安全感;想起那几通电话;想起那些夕阳的街头,傍晚的海边,音乐和书店,想起那些话语,所有的记忆,以及歇斯底里后的安心……而你,有没有,想起过我?

不能再想下去。

有谁知道我在拥挤得连影子都无处可逃的街口,静静默默悄悄地把你思念。

 

(想给leo打电话的念头一闪而过。因为是长途,而且此时的leo没法接电话。)

 

于是,最后,我还是打给了hp。这个好人。我不想再把他变成第二个。在这个陌生的城市里,他永远都是如此,ready to help

原来hp可以是harry potter,可以是电脑打印机,可以是hope, 也可以是help.

HELP!!!

Lady bird 最后的呼喊。我要不要喊,我喊了又有没有意义?

 

打给他,我不知道他有没有听出我走调的声音。他不问我我的反反复复到底是怎么回事,只是告诉我没有问题,哪里最方便就到哪里。

 

走进清华那一瞬间的清静真是令人感动啊。如今我开始对这里产生依恋。我不知道我这种依恋和hp对她的依恋有没有相似之处。他说他最好永远不要离开这里。我也想。这里似乎是这个浮华的城里唯一的贞静。

我每每都会惊讶这里怎么会有那么少的人。坐在hp的单车上听他说他最喜欢冬天,喜欢这里那朦胧的树影。我最喜欢冬天光秃秃的树杈指向恬淡的天。

听他讲绘画,讲印象派的光影,讲一个学艺术的人的生命内省。然后觉得又看到另一个不同的世界。这也是我喜欢和不同的人交流的最大原因,可以采用不同的角度解读这个世界。可是,就像hp所说的,我们都是内向的人,怎么才能一下子获得大量的深层次的交流?

Hp真是一个踏实的人。从不多问。而我正好也不想讲。我不想一不小心把他变成了第二个。而他的踏实,就像他给我的一杯热牛奶,简单却足够温暖。

而你是一杯清咖啡,微苦,却是清醒的依恋。

 

差点对hp说,今夜,我不想回去。

谨以此文献给小学毕业十年

昨天晚上又看了一遍乌木的所有的日志。应该是第二遍看了吧。可是总觉得又读到了新的东西。

人生真是奇妙。我不断地试图扩大自己的生活圈,却发现,兜兜转转,圈在一起的还是我们那几个人。

也许社会学中的6人原则真是至金真理。

 

关于乌木、空城和我之间的关系,也已历经十几年。从小学开始。乌木晚来了一年。

真正好起来,却是五六年级的事。

而从小学到现在我不断联络的人,也只有他俩。或许是因为我是一个退缩的人吧。

很多是不曾为系就难以为继。

 

乌木现在的GF是我生命中的重要她人。Her existence shapes my life.

某种程度上说,乌木和她的过去有着不同情况的复杂。而我亦在懵懂中见证了一些,并把那些经历掺进了我生命的情绪。

我只是不知道,他和她对此知不知道。

 

我看过乌木小时候的聪颖、倔强和顽皮;也在发生了那件事后,与他一别三年再度相遇,感觉到的深沉、思考和成长、

所以再别三年之后,我在短信里对他说,把她放到他的手上,我十分放心。虽然这样我颇有一种以她的什么人自居的自大嫌疑,但是不知为什么,即使我从来没有真正走进过她,我总有种感觉:我可以感受到她的敏感和忧郁。或许我只是强加了自己的想法,但就像我初中时和她初时时就有的感觉:我们在生活的内向体悟中主定有一个阶段相似,无论过去还是现在。

 

空城给乌木留言说:从不知道你是这样一个细腻而长情的人。我在读过他充满隐约指代的日志后,对这个结论又意外又不意外。意外的反而是她对自己的而剖析:自己的不配拥有爱情。是因为自己对爱情的不尊重和抛弃而遭受了爱情的报复。

所以,她在200756日的凌晨默默地读完了他所有的日志,每一篇都留了言。尽管她知道自己有时可能不是他文中的“她”;即使她没有得到他对每篇必踩的人的感谢;即使他说他已经熬不住了要睡去;即使她说:我知道这里你已不会再来。

 

Silent love. Loving quietly.

 

他的日志多是守候和等待。殊不知,你也会成为别人默默守候的人。

太多的时候,自己也是这样一个角色。默默地关注那些曾经对自己有着特别意义的人。

不留痕迹。

生活之流,静静地奔腾。我隔岸守望,寻找那些在时光中不曾变化的寄托。

 

乌木在日志中谈及了他们,以及他所知的他们后来的变化。于是是夜我彻夜梦寐,只是因为对你们的思念。

但是,我现在又有了这样一种“相见不如怀念”的胆怯。想当初,我们的innocence,哪种未曾分化的简单快乐。我是如此地害怕成长,害怕时间的流逝把我们带向那个庸人自扰的地方:在纷杂熙攘的世事中,我们回首却触不见那份默默的爱。

多么希望,我们现在依然未定形态——永远indefinite,这样我们就可以随时分享永不日蚀的回忆和情感,无忧无虑。

Memory,多么美好,可以让我在黑夜里面对自己,默默地一遍又一遍,口齿噙香。

 

这份默默,不知道有没有人也会在碌碌中片刻闲暇,怅想,给予一点点回应。

 

在繁盛与无味交替中,我感觉到我的思念。如果你在身边,是不是春天永远不会落败,抑或我可以和你一起淡看四季流转起落云烟。